Ryan McDermott
5/5
My son and I read reviews of International Alpine Guides (IAG), particularly those by Mike Raney, and we were intrigued to see just how miserable our experience would be. We're not exactly seasoned hikers or climbers, so we deliberately signed up for a trip that would push us well beyond our limits: the five-day Palisades adventure. For weeks, we schemed about how we could disrupt, annoy, and worry any diligent guide.
The first thing that caught our attention was IAG's instruction to pack our own lunches. This annoyed us because if we went hungry during the hike, we'd have no one to blame but ourselves. One of our plans to pay homage to Mike Raney's comments about starvation was immediately foiled by IAG’s clear instructions. Realizing this, we promptly discarded the instruction guide.
IAG also provided a packing list, which had a long list of needed items and recommended items. It failed to mention we should bring our contact lenses, so we had trouble seeing the entire trip. While the list mentioned we should bring water bottles, it never mentioned we needed to fill those water bottles. We ended up being very thirsty.
GUIDE: Our guide was not Ted Lenzie. We were a bit disappointed because Mike Raney had tipped us off that, despite Ted's multiple high-profile professional accolades, he would likely get us hopelessly lost. Instead, our guide was “Nick” Lozica. "Nick," clearly a nickname for something longer, arrived in Bishop with a fierce-looking attack dog. Despite owning two dogs ourselves, we tricked Nick into believing we were allergic to dogs and pretended to sneeze for three days. On the first day, Nick took the dog to a boarding facility, but we continued sneezing just to bug him. “Nick” noted that his dog could not join the trip because of regulations and because his dog could not rock climb. Real dogs flash 5.22s.
Nick is young, so we were eager to test his patience with our bag of tricks. At one point, my son ran away from the trail, just like Mike Raney, to see if Nick would get worried or stressed. Despite all our efforts, Nick remained unflappable. I even tried verbally assaulting him a few times, but nothing seemed to get to him. Finally, despite little snow on the ground, I donned my crampons and kicked Nick in the face, hoping to provoke him. Yet again, he remained composed, yet bloodied — unshakable.
In the end, despite our best efforts to recreate "The Mike Raney Project," IAG proved to be too good. The trip was flawless. The Palisades are incredibly challenging, with heavy scree that made for a tough slog. Nick is an amazing young man—competence on steroids. I love seeing people who are masters of their craft. While this was our third IAG trip, and each has been excellent, Nick’s dedication to climbing-instruction perfection is infectious. He truly loves what he does. His rope skills are mind-blowing, and after the trip, he even took an hour to walk us through various knots. He was flexible during the trip as well; on the final day, we asked him to put together his own Omakase of rock climbs near the Palisades, and he guided us up those climbs with clear instructions. He is strong, patient, and incredibly skilled.
One crucial piece of advice he gave us a week before the trip was to buy approach shoes. Although we already had plenty of boots and were reluctant to buy more gear, we decided to follow his advice, and those approach shoes turned out to be a game-changer. They were amazing.
Nick is an exceptional and dedicated guide. His future in this industry seems limitless. We are already planning our next IAG adventure. Thank you, Nick, and thank you, IAG. We also appreciate the stickers and T-shirts! The only suggestion we have is regarding the curry Nick brought for us—it was quite smelly, and we saved it for the fourth night. In hindsight, we should have eaten it on the first night to minimize the stink!
